


Spirit in the House

by Redgillan



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Hate to Love, Reader-Insert, based on just like heaven, ghost!Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-09-17 23:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9351797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redgillan/pseuds/Redgillan
Summary: Reader is in a coma after a car accident. Bucky moves into your apartment and find your spirit still hanging around. (Based on Just like Heaven)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Car Accident, Coma, Drinking, Depression, Language (but I swear it’s basically fluff)  
> This is a thank you for 1k and I hope we'll all have fun with this series ♥

 

You were walking fast through the little park in front of your best friend’s house. It was pitch black and you were already an hour late. The park was exceptionally quiet, nobody was out. When your phone chimed, you slowed down a little as you fumbled through your purse to pull it out.

“Where are you?” Your best friend urged.

“Peggy, I’m so sorry. Work was crazy, but I’m in the park.”

You looked up and saw her standing at her kitchen window, her eyes roamed over the dimly lit street to find you. You waved and told her to look straight ahead. She waved back, although her lips turned into an upset pout.

“You could have called.”

“Thought I was going to bail on you, didn’t ya?”

“Well, yeah.” She admitted.

You watched as the corners of her lips curled upward. She kept her eyes on you as you crossed the street to her house.

“Just hurry up, everyone’s starving.”

You snorted, glancing furtively around to make sure there was no car. You opened your mouth to retort when the screech of tyres made your head snap up.

A beam of bright yellow light blinded you as you felt your body being simultaneously pushed back and forced forward. You heard a scream and collapsed onto the ground, hitting the back of your head on the asphalt.

**Two months later**

Peggy and her husband, Tony, decided to rent your apartment in order to pay your hospital bills. The doctors advised Peggy to sign papers authorising permission to take you out of life support, but she simply said no. She removed things like your photos and clothes and put your apartment on the market.

Bucky followed the real estate agent into yet another apartment. Looking around, he felt like he finally found the right one. The living room was nicely decorated, although nothing extravagant. Under the bay window were arranged two sofas, a coffee table, a TV and an empty console. A table in mahogany stood near the kitchen.

The hallway led down to two rooms, a dressing and a bathroom. The view from the bay window was absolutely stunning.

“This place is great,” Bucky turned back to Pepper Potts who looked relieved. “Why is it still on the market?”

“It’s a one-to-one sublet. No one-year lease.”

“Oh,” Bucky walked over to the bay window. “Why?”

“Didn’t feel like asking, they were pretty close-mouthed about it.”

Bucky marched to the sofa and slumped down on it. He stared at the black screen of the TV for a moment. Pepper fought back a groan and pinched the bridge of her nose. He had been a pain in the ass the entire day.

He wanted an apartment that was already furnished, but he wouldn’t tell her anything about his job or his life, which made her job a lot more complicated.

“I like this one.” He suddenly said, making her gasp in surprise. “I’ll take it.”

Pepper dragged him to her office and made him sign the papers. The next day, Bucky moved his few things into your apartment. After a long, hot shower, he put a tee and his sweatpants on. He sat in front of the television with a cold beer and a bag of chips.

Three hours later, the coffee table was covered with empty beer bottles and half eaten take-out. Bucky was staring at the TV without really seeing it. With a sigh, he walked into the kitchen, grabbed another beer and returned to the living room.

“Don’t hurt me!” You shouted, raising your hands up. Bucky screamed and dropped the bottle where it smashed to the ground. “There’s nothing worth-”

“Who are you?”

“-stealing.” You finished and slowly dropped your arms to your sides, a crease formed between your brows. “Who am I? I live here!”

“No, _I_ live here.” Bucky shouted back. You stared at each other for a moment before his arms fell to his sides and he scoffed. “Okay, I see what’s going on here. It’s a scam, they rent the place to multiple people and collect the money.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” You pulled back, the frown between your brows deepened. “This is my stuff, all of it!” You gestured at the furniture in the room.

You squinted your eyes and moved closer to the table, spotting a little ring on your coffee table. Bucky watched you with a confused look on his face.

“A ring? Have you ever heard of a coaster?” You looked around and gasped at the mess. “You’re a pig and you’re leaving. Now!”

You crossed the living room and went straight to the kitchen, walking past him as he shook himself from his stupor and followed you. You kept screaming, but by the time he entered the kitchen you were gone.

“Hello?” He called out, looking around at the same time. “Crazy girl? Where are you?”

He returned to the living room and waited. When nothing else happened, he just shrugged the event off. Later that night, a knock on the front door woke him up. He dusted potato chips crumbs off his shirt and dragged himself to the front door.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

Bucky already knew who was behind the door. Steve was his only friend. Everyone sort of disappeared after Bucky hit rock bottom, but not Steve. He knew he could always count on Steve to support him, even when he didn’t want to see anyone.

 “Came here to check out your new place.” Steve gave him a toothy smile as he raised a six-pack of beer. “Congrats, man!”

He pushed past Bucky and entered the apartment. His eyes roamed over the beautiful place and the mess Bucky made in less than twenty four hours.

“Wow,” Steve commented, his eyes settled on the mountain of empty beer bottles on the coffee table. “You either had a wild night with your friends and forgot to invite me, or you had a very lonely night.”

“Next time a call would be nice.” Bucky mumbled, tossing the empty bottles into a trash can.

Steve and Bucky sat down on the sofa and talked for a long time. After his third beer with Steve, and God knows how many he had before that, Bucky loosened up enough to tell him what happened earlier.

“There was a woman in your apartment?” Steve tipped his head back and finished his beer. “Was she attractive?”

“That’s not the point,” Bucky rolled his eyes. “The point is, she just vanished into thin air” He snapped his fingers for good measure.

“Were you drunk?”

Bucky fidgeted uncomfortably on the sofa, “Yeah, I was wasted, but I’ve been drunk before and that never happened.”

“Do you sleep?”

“I do.” Bucky assured him in a confident tone before Steve raised an eyebrow at him. “Sometimes.”

“I think you’re just tired and a little on edge, which I totally understand,” Steve added quickly when Bucky started gritting his teeth. “But you gotta sleep, man. I’m sure that hot hallucination won’t bother you anymore.”

“You know, you shouldn’t have dropped out of college to become a stripper. You would have made a great shrink.”

“Exotic dancer,” Steve corrected, wagging a warning finger in Bucky’s face. “Speaking of it, I gotta go to work.” He slapped his hands on his thighs and stood up.

“Off you go, Captain America.” Bucky mocked. Steve rolled his eyes as he put his jacket on and grabbed his keys off the mahogany table.

“Take care of yourself, Buck.”

They hugged before Steve left. Bucky was standing alone in the middle of the living room and listened to the distant sound of Steve’s motorbike. He turned around and came face-to-face with you again.

“You’re still here? Get out!” You shouted.

“Get out of my apartment!” He screamed back.

“It’s _my_ apartment!”

“No, it’s _mine_!”

“That’s it! I’m calling the cops!” You made your way to the console and tried to pick up the phone. You couldn’t hold it, you couldn’t even touch it. “What did you do to my phone?” You turned back to Bucky.

“Me? I didn’t do anything!” He took a step back, his hand groping behind him for the dining room table. “What the hell is going on with you?”

You walked back to him and tried to push him, but your hands went right through his shoulders. You both gasped and looked at each other with wide eyes. You tried again, but the same thing happened. He quickly rounded the table and grabbed a knife off the kitchen counter. You strutted towards him, your eyes narrowed menacingly as he brandished the knife.

“You’re threatening me? You break into MY house and YOU threaten ME? Unbelievable.” You threw your arms up in exasperation.

As your arms fell back to your sides, you noticed that you were standing in the middle of your dining room table. You were walking through it like some kind of ghost.

“You’re a fucking ghost!” Bucky shrieked before he fainted on the kitchen floor.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ghost!Reader, Language, Blasphemy (probably idk)

 

Bucky groaned in pain as he slowly peeled his eyes open. His temples throbbed from the alcohol he had consumed the night before, but there was something else. He pressed his hand to the side of his head and winced in pain when he felt a tender lump.

Memories of the previous night rushed back to him and he became very aware that he was lying on the cold kitchen floor.

“What the-” He saw you sitting on the threshold of the kitchen. You were hugging your knees to your chest, arms wrapped around your legs. He tried to sit up, but his body refused to cooperate.

“You fainted.” You explained in a monotonous voice. “I walked through the table and you fainted.”

Carefully, he threw a glance your way. You looked completely unfazed by the night’s events. Your eyes were cast on the floor, the expression on your face was a mixture of fear and confusion as you worried your bottom lip between your teeth.

“A-Are you, uh, a ghost?” Bucky felt stupid for asking. Ghosts are not real, these things don’t exist.

“I’m not dead!” You snapped your head up to glare at him.

“Well…” He scrunched his nose up as he spoke. “You walked through the table.”

You groaned loudly and pushed yourself off the ground. He watched you walk towards the sofa before you simply evaporated like a wisp of fog. He flinched and froze for a moment not sure if it really happened. Glancing suspiciously around him, he decided to call it a night. He collapsed face first onto the mattress and fell asleep almost immediately.

When he woke up, you were sitting at the foot of the bed.

“You have to leave.” You kept repeating like a broken record. “This is _my_ apartment. I am _not_ dead and you have to leave.”

For the first few hours, he tried to argue with you. When he understood that you were not going to back down, he decided to just ignore you. It was really difficult, you were always there. And two weeks later, you were still there.

You sat on the closed toilet lid while he took a shower, forcing him to shower in his boxers. You stood in front of the TV, purposely blocking his view. You hid in unusual places like the fridge and tried to scare the shit out of him.

“Leave me alone!” He shouted, practically running to the bedroom.

“Don’t you have a job?” You trailed after him and saw him eating in bed. “You’re gonna leave crumbs everywhere!”

“I don’t mind.” He shrugged.

“But I do!”

He shrugged again, the corner of his mouth curling up in a smirk. “You can’t even _touch_ the crumbs.”

You crossed your arms and glared at him. With a victorious smile, he lay down in bed and put his head on the pillow. His features relaxed, a sign he was about to fall asleep, and that’s when you started singing at the top of your voice.

“SHUT UP!” He screamed, throwing a pillow at you, which simply passed through you as if you were not there.

“I’m gonna keep singing until you get out of my apartment.” You continued singing louder.

Bucky sat up in bed, “Okay, fine. I’ve tried to be civilized but you leave me no other choice.”

He jumped out of bed and walked past you. You heard him mutter something to himself as he grabbed the phone and dialed the number written on a piece of paper next to the console. He mumbled your address, a ‘ _thank you’_ and ended the call.

“Who was that?” You asked, but he ignored you. “Hey! Who was that? Oh, you’re ignoring me again. Well, I guess you won’t mind me singi-”

“Don’t!” He pleaded, joining his hands in prayer. “I’m asking nicely, please leave me alone and go haunt someone else. A murderer, a thief, whoever you want, but leave me alone.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and turned your head to avoid his eyes.

“I can’t leave.” You muttered, looking at the front door.

“What was that?”

“I can’t leave.” You said louder, turning back to him. “You think I didn’t try to walk through that door and find people who actually care about me? I can’t leave the apartment.”

Bucky straightened up and looked at you with cocked eyebrows before his features softened and he walked up to the front door. He opened the door and stood next to it.

“There. See ya!” He motioned for you to leave and you rolled your eyes.

“I can go through walls, dumbass. It doesn’t matter if the door is open or not. _Something_ won’t let me leave.”

An exaggerated groan tore from his throat and you replied with a loud sigh. A man in a priest robe cleared his throat to get Bucky’s attention. The old man was standing on the threshold of the apartment, holding a crucifix in one hand and a bible in the other.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” You scoffed.

Bucky shot you a dirty look before he turned to the priest. “Father! I’m glad you could make it.”

“You heard me coming?” The priest asked, nodding at the door.

“Oh, that? No, I just tried to make the spirit leave through the front door.”

“Uh-uh, and did it work?” The priest asked with furrowed brows.

Bucky turned to look at you and sighed. Curious, the priest looked in the same direction where there was nothing but the dining room table and the crease between his brows deepened.

“She’s still here.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” The priest entered, a wary expression etched on his face.

He walked around the apartment as you and Bucky observed him from the living room. You put your hands on your hips and shook your head.

“An exorcism? Seriously? What, the ghostbusters were not available?”

“Shh,” Bucky hissed then smiled awkwardly when the priest turned back and frowned. “I told you, I tried to be nice but since you refuse to go, he’s going to…” He made wild gestures with his hands. “Send you back to Heaven, or Hell, whichever you prefer.”

“Yeah, sure, and all that thanks to the power of Catholicism.” You mocked, holding out a hand towards the priest who was now chanting incantations in Latin.

After Bucky shot you another dirty look, you decided to stay quiet and the both of you observed the priest.

He kept chanting and mumbling words and you were trying really hard not to roll your eyes. But when the priest took the crucifix and started throwing holy water while shouting words in Latin, you burst out into laughter

Bucky tapped on the priest’s shoulder, getting his attention. “She’s right behind you, Father.”

The priest looked at him, a little annoyed at the interruption. He threw holy water in the direction Bucky had pointed, but it simply went through you and made a little puddle on the wooden floor. You gave Bucky an unimpressed look.

“You’re mopping that up.” You turned around and left as the priest continued to throw holy water around the living room. “Oh, and by the way, _cogito ergo sum_.” You smirked at Bucky over your shoulder.

Bucky groaned inwardly and quickly ended the session. He thanked the priest and walked him back to the front door. As Bucky leaned against the closed door, an idea popped into his head. He took his car keys and slammed the door behind him. After a quick search on his phone, Bucky found the best rated occult bookstore in Brooklyn.

The bell above the door tinkled when he pushed the door open. The place was dark and smelled like old books, a few customers turned to look at him and he suddenly felt less confident. The cashier was a brunette with long hair, blowing bubbles with her gum as she looked around the place. Bucky quickly found the spirit section. He kept glancing around as if he was doing something illegal.

“Can I help you?” A young man with bleached-blond hair appeared out of nowhere, startling him.

“No!” Bucky quickly replied and cleared his throat noisily, trying to appear casual. “Do-do you believe in ghosts?”

“Well you don’t until you do.” The man said rather mysteriously, cocking an eyebrow at Bucky. “Met a ghost?” Bucky babbled a few words that didn’t make any sense before he stopped him. “Say no more. I’m Pietro. I own this place with my sister.” He gestured towards the cashier. “She has _the_ gift.”

“Uh,” Bucky replied, shaking Pietro’s hand. “I’m James.”

“Well, James, I think we can help you with your _problem_.” Pietro wiggled his eyebrows.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mention of Car Accident, Coma, Language

 

Bucky gestured to the sofa in front of the television, allowing Pietro and Wanda to take a seat. He looked around quickly, but you were not there.

“I don’t feel anything.” Wanda said, closing her eyes to focus. “You sure there’s a spirit?”

Bucky mumbled a ‘ _yes’_ , his eyes still roaming about the room. Pietro put his feet on the coffee table and you suddenly appeared next to Bucky. Wanda tensed immediately.

“Tell him to take his dirty feet off my table.” You snarled, looking at Pietro. “Who are these people?”

Bucky didn’t reply, his lips curled up in a brief smile. Wanda slapped Pietro’s feet off the coffee table, her eyes still closed. He groaned loudly and slumped back in his seat.

“I can feel something. She’s here.” Wanda said, drawing in a deep breath.

“Here we go,” You sighed and sat in front of her on the coffee table. “After the priest, the psychic...”

“She’s hostile.” Wanda nodded and Bucky snickered loudly, making you turn to glare at him. “She wants you to leave this place.” She opened her eyes and looked at Bucky. “If I were you I’d leave right now. Her aura is... menacing.”

“I have a menacing aura?” You put your elbows on your knees and cupped your chin in your hand. "I like her.”

“I’m not leaving, _she_ has to leave.” Bucky whined.

You waved him off, which made him wave back at you and before he knew it, you were both trying to slap each other’s hands. To Wanda and Pietro, it looked like Bucky was chasing invisible flies. When he saw the look on their faces, he stopped and cleared his throat.

“She just has to accept that she’s dead and walk to the light.”

“There is no light, I’m not dead!”

“She’s not dead.” Wanda replied almost at the same time. “But you? You have the darkest aura I’ve ever seen. What’s going on with you?”

Bucky’s shoulders tensed, “I’m fine.”

“Understatement of the year,” You scoffed. “In two weeks you left the house twice, the first time was to get beers. The second time you came back with these two weirdos.”

“You don’t know anything about me.” Bucky hissed.

The room fell into a deep silence. Pietro and Wanda were looking at Bucky with concern. Bucky stared at the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world. After a few more seconds, Wanda put her hand on her brother’s shoulder.

“We should leave them alone.”

Bucky walked them back to the front door. Wanda glanced around the room while the boys were waiting in the hall.

“To the girl haunting this apartment,” She called out, knowing you were still in the room. “Don’t be too hard on him, you’re not the only one haunting him.”

Still sitting on the coffee table, you looked up at her and frowned, wondering what she was talking about. She joined her brother in the hall and left without saying another word. Bucky closed the door and leaned against it. He stayed like that for a moment before he returned to the living room.

At first he didn’t see you and thought that you were gone, but then he saw you trying to pick up a box from the console.

“Don’t touch that!” He mentally scolded himself for forgetting that you couldn’t touch anything.

“I can’t,” You pointed out. “What’s inside the box? It’s the only thing here that isn’t mine. Well, that and the pile of empty beer bottles.”

Bucky took the box and held it against his chest as if he was protecting it from you. He put it on the kitchen table.

“You’re stubborn enough to make it move.”

“You’re right, I am stubborn.” You leaned your elbows on the kitchen table.

“You remember who you are?”

“Um, so we’re no longer talking about the box?”

You smirked and looked up at him as he took another beer from the fridge. He shot you an annoyed glance and you raised your hands in mock surrender.

“Fine, I’ll stop prying. And the answer is yes, I remember who I am.” You told him your full name and he repeated it slowly.

Bucky closed the fridge door with his foot and removed the bottle cap with a bottle opener. He gulped down a big swig, his eyes still focused on you. He took a deep breath before he spoke.

“If I help you find out what happened to you, will you leave me alone?”

You took a moment to consider the offer. “If you do that _and_ clean the apartment, then yes, I’ll leave you alone.”

Bucky grabbed his laptop from the kitchen counter and walked into the living room. You watched, incredulous, as he set everything down on the table. Bucky waved a coaster in your face and placed it on the table before he set his drink down.

He took an old Chinese takeout box, looked at it with a cocked eyebrow and shrugged as he took a mouthful of sesame chicken. You made a nasty noise in your throat and Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Alright!” He took a seat and gathered his longish hair, twisting it into a bun. “Let’s get started.”

You hoped he didn’t hear you gasp at the sight of him with a man bun. No matter how much he annoyed you, you couldn’t deny that he was really hot.

“Now? It’s almost nine p.m.” You shook yourself out of your trance.

“I have food, drink and I’m in a good mood.” Bucky shrugged and opened his laptop. “The sooner we’re done, the sooner you’re gone.”

The rhyme made you scoff. You tried to pull out a chair, but your hand kept going through it. Clearing your throat noisily, you jutted your chin towards the chair.

He pushed the chair back with his foot and grinned to himself as you took a seat. He entered your name in the search box and hit ‘enter’.

“Ah! Found ya’.” He said when he found a picture of you at a work event. “It’s weird.” He frowned, moving closer to the screen.

“What?”

“That thing on your face.”

“What thing?” You leaned too and squinted your eyes to get a better look at the picture.

“I think it’s... yeah, it’s a smile.” He pulled back and smirked when you rolled your eyes. Instinctively, you tried to slap his bicep with the back of your hand, but it obviously did nothing to him. He laughed buoyantly. “Oh, come on, you have to admit it was funny.”

“You’re a jerk.” You mumbled, propping your elbow on the table and resting your cheek on your fist.

“So I’ve been told.”

An hour later, Bucky was still trying to find out what happened to you. He sighed out his frustration, curling a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Still nothing on what made you so... light.” Bucky turned in his chair to face you. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

You took a minute to ponder his question and closed your eyes to focus.

“I was late and my friends were waiting for me. It was dark and cold, I was on the phone with Peggy and then nothing... everything turned black.”

“You got mugged?”

“I don’t know.”

He nodded slowly and turned his attention back to the screen.

“You know, a good-looking girl goes missing or killed or whatever, someone must have written an article about it.”

You felt heat rise up your neck and into your cheeks. “Good-looking?”

“Yeah,” Bucky shrugged casually. “Don’t get me wrong you’re also a huge pain in the ass.”

“Annnd I thought we were making progress.” You shook your head.

Bucky cringed slightly, “Sorry... that was mean.”

“It’s okay. I remember calling you a dumbass so we’re even.”

A slow smile spread across his lips as he looked at you. There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. “I found something.”

Bucky had a look of concentration on his face while he read the article. You couldn’t see the screen and started tapping your foot on the floor, impatient.

“So?”

“I’m so sorry.” He blinked slowly, his eyes still focused on the screen. “You’ve been hit by a car... almost three months ago. They took you to St Andrew’s Hospital. You’re in a coma.”

“Okay,” You drew out the word, processing the news. “Three months, uh? That doesn’t sound good.”

“People have woken up from these kind of things.” He replied, already Googling the words ‘Coma + 3 months.’

“And others didn’t.” You replied grimly.

Another moment of silence passed. You kept your eyes downcast while Bucky was reading something on his computer screen.

He glanced at you from the corner of his eye and put his hand on top of yours, trying to be nice. When his hand went through yours and slammed on the mahogany table, you both laughed quietly.

“It’s gonna be alright.” He said and you nodded pensively. “You’ll wake up and kick me out of your apartment, okay?”

You chuckled, not daring to meet his eyes. You didn’t know if you would wake up one day and no matter how real you looked, you were not really in your apartment.

“I feel stupid for asking, but... what’s your name?” You looked up at Bucky and saw him smirk.

“You’d think after messing with me for two weeks we’d be on a first-name basis.” He smiled when it made you laugh. “James. My name is James Barnes.”

“It suits you.” You replied with a small smile. “Well, James, I guess this is goodbye. Thank you for your help and, please, don’t forget to clean the apartment.”

Bucky hung his head, hiding the smile that spread across his face. He raised his head, ready to retort, but his smile gradually disappeared when he saw that your chair was empty. You were gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ghost!Reader, Coma, Language  
> I’m screaming, please scream with me!

 

Bucky spent the next few days in complete silence. Every time he opened the wardrobe he expected to see you. You used to hide in there and jump out at Bucky to scare him. Now that you were gone, he missed the excitement.

Bucky kept his promise and cleaned the apartment. He even decided to take care of himself. He sat down at the kitchen table and ate with gusto. It was the first home cooked meal he had eaten in a while. On Saturday, he agreed to go out with Steve.

“What the hell happened to your face?” Steve smirked as Bucky approached the bar.

“I cut my hair, Steve. No big deal.” Bucky rolled his eyes. Steve took Bucky into a hug and patted his back.

“You look human again.” Steve joked as he opened the door. “Glad to see you’re doing better. How are your hallucinations? Still seeing that ghost?”

Bucky wasn’t in the mood to explain how you were not a hallucination, but a real person who somehow sought his help.

“She’s gone.” Bucky replied, trying not to let his disappointment show. He stopped walking and froze in place when Steve waved to two beautiful women. “A double date?”

“Thought it might do you some good.”

“Remember when I was the one setting you up on dates? What happened?” Bucky said with a nervous laugh as he followed Steve to the table.

“Puberty, man.”

Bucky hadn’t been on a date for years and he certainly did not expect to spend the evening with two strangers. He ran his hand through his short hair and smiled politely at his date. She looked a bit relieved when she saw him.

The rest of the evening passed by slowly. Bucky had a good time, the girl was interesting and funny. She gave him her number, but he didn’t know if he’d ever call her back. Steve walked him back to his car.

“You did great tonight. I was afraid that going on a date would make you think of Nat.”

“Yeah, well, I’m trying to get my shit together.”

“That’s the spirit!” Steve exclaimed, climbing onto his bike. He waited until Bucky had unlocked his door and spoke again. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

On his way home, Bucky thought about the changes he had to make in his life. Deep inside he knew it was time to move on.

He needed a new distraction and your accident looked like a good one. He re-read articles that mentioned your accident and took notes. Someone hit you and just drove away and he couldn’t let that go unpunished.

The next day, Bucky drove to St Andrew’s Hospital where you were in a coma. He asked for your room number and the receptionist directed him to the third floor. When he arrived at the ward, a doctor was waiting for him.

“Doctor Helen Cho,” She extended her hand to Bucky. “And you are?”

“James Barnes.”

“Right, I heard you’ve been inquiring about Y/n Y/l/n. Before we go any further, I need to know how you knew her.”

“She, uh, she’s my girlfriend.” Bucky hoped the lie wasn’t too obvious. He knew she wouldn’t tell him anything if she knew he was just a stranger.

“Girlfriend? Mrs Carter told us she was single.”

“We were fairly recent. I’ve been away for a few months, business trip, I came back yesterday.”

Doctor Cho nodded. Bucky didn’t know whether she believed him or not. She obviously had a lot of work to do and tried to end the conversation as quickly as possible.

“I’m sorry to be the one telling you this, but Y/n has been in a coma for three months. The good news is that she doesn’t have brain damage. Her scans show brain activity, it’s minimal but it’s there.”

Bucky pressed his lips together to keep from grinning and kept his jokes to himself. Somehow he wished you were standing next to him so he could see you roll your eyes at him.

He cleared his throat and asked, “How long will she be in a coma?”

“Hard to say. We have no way of knowing when _or if_ she’ll wake up.” She put her hand on his shoulder. “But her condition has improved. Would you like to see her?”

Bucky’s heart skipped a beat and for a moment he was like frozen. “Y-Yes.”

Doctor Cho led him to your room and gave him a sympathetic smile before she left. Bucky took a step closer to you, his lips parted in a soft gasp. You laid in bed, surrounded by machines, an endotracheal tube sticking out of your mouth.

You looked so fragile and helpless, it made him feel like it was his duty to protect you.

“What are you doing here?”

Bucky jumped at the sound of your voice and lost his balance. He looked up as he pushed himself off the ground. You were standing in the middle of the room, your frown told him you were not amused.

“You-You’re back!” He whispered loudly. “Wait, you left the apartment?”

“I could say the same to you.” You made a childish grimace and he rolled his eyes.

“You said you couldn’t leave the house.”

“I don’t know how it works. I don’t make the rules.” You shrugged and cocked a brow at him. “Did you get your hair cut?”

“No, I got them all cut.” Bucky replied sarcastically, grinning from ear to ear. He ran a hand through his short hair and his features turned serious again. “You like it?”

You made an exaggerated pout. “Meh, I preferred the man bun.”

The look on his face was priceless: a mix of shock and regret. Your laughter died when you recognised the person lying in bed.

You looked at yourself, lying inert on the hospital bed, desperately fighting for your life. You felt so disconnected, so far away from everything. Bucky saw the expression on your face and tried to divert your attention.

“Hey! I just talked to the doctor. There’s still hope.”

You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the breathing tube coming out of your mouth.

“Your brain activity is minimal, but it’s still better than before the accident.”

You shook your head, your lips curled upward into a soft smile. “Jerk.”

“Sorry, couldn’t resist. I have at least five other jokes.” His laugh was so infectious that it made you laugh too. “Keep fighting. You’ll get through this.” His voice turned serious again.

“Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?”

“I guess... I guess I finally realized we only have one life and I don’t want to spend mine drinking my bad feelings away.”

“Yeah,” You sighed. “I spent mine working and shutting myself off. I think I understand. Now I just wish I could go back and do things differently, you know?”

“You still have time, when you’ll wake up-”

“Stop!” You cut him off, your eyes stinging with unshed tears. “We both know I’m not going to wake up. Can we leave?”

He nodded, he knew it was pointless to argue with you. You walked back to the door, thinking he was following you.

Bucky watched you move towards the door and took a deep breath. As he looked down at the real you, an idea crossed his mind. He took your hand and snapped his head around to look at your spirit.

You stopped dead in your tracks when you felt his fingers close around yours.

“How can you-” You turned around and saw him holding your hand. You could feel the heat of his fingers against your own.

“See,” He grinned, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. Your skin started to tingle. “You’re still connected to your body. You can feel that, it means there’s still hope.”

“But how?”

“I don’t know,” He released your hand and walked over to the door where you were standing. “Stop questioning everything. Your spirit is in front of me. If I were questioning every weird thing that happened to me lately, I’d be hiding under my covers.”

“You mean _my_ covers.” You mumbled as he opened the door and left the room.

You walked together down the corridor towards the lifts. He stopped in front of the lifts and pushed a button. Once you were both inside, you asked. “Where are we going?”

“We’re going to find the person who hit you with their car.”

“Isn’t that a job for the police?”

“Luckily for you,” He reached into his inner breast pocket and plucked out his badge. “I’m a detective.”

A little shocked gasp escaped your throat as you watched the badge shine under the neon lights of the lift. _Detective-Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes_. You looked up at him, all wide-eyed and slack-jawed and he wiggled his brows, a smug smile on his lips.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The adventures of the ghost and the detective hehe Also, cliffhanger.. sorry

 

Bucky parked in front of the police precinct and leaned his elbows against the steering wheel, staring at the entrance door of the police station. You were not sure why, but you felt connected to him.

“I haven’t been there in over a year.” He said without taking his eyes off the door.

“You don’t have to do this. I mean, I appreciate that you want to help me, but I don’t want to force you-”

“You’re not forcing me,” He turned to the passenger seat. “I want to help you, but it’s... complicated.”

You wanted to comfort him, but you couldn’t even squeeze his hand. The lack of physical contact was starting to drive you crazy. It wasn’t like you craved it when you were _alive_ , but it felt as if you had been robbed of your free will.

Taking a deep breath, Bucky opened the door and climbed out of the car. With a confident strut, he walked to the door and opened it.   The familiar noises and smells of the precinct greeted him, it was almost too much. Bucky looked at you and swallowed past the lump in his throat, trying to stay strong.

“Are you sure we’re not trespassing?” You whispered, following him closely.

“I work here and you’re,” He glanced at you from the corner of his eye. “You’re not really here.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry.” You shook your head. “So you’re a cop.” Bucky made a noise of agreement, careful not to draw attention to himself. “Why are you always at home?”

“Sick leave.” He replied without moving his lips. “It’s-”

“Complicated,” You finished for him, ending with a sigh.

The precinct was like a giant maze, you stayed close to Bucky and looked at the faces of the people walking past –or sometimes through- you.

“Barnes?” A man shouted.

Bucky’s body suddenly tensed up. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and slowly turned around to face the man. He had a gap between his front teeth, a neatly trimmed goatee and his eyes were the colour of melted dark chocolate.

“Hey, Wilson. How are you, man?” Bucky asked with fake glee as they shared an awkward handshake.

“I didn’t know you were back. They put me with Barton since you left. To be honest, he’s driving me crazy.” Sam said, offering a tentative smile. “So, you’re doing better? I don’t think I’ve seen you since... well since the funeral.”

You turned all your attention to Bucky who cleared his throat and shuffled his feet a bit. He raised his hand and rubbed it across his forehead.

“Yeah, it’s been a while. I’ll see ya around.” Bucky quickly ended the conversation.

Sam watched him leave with a confused look on his face, unaware that you were standing in front of him. You were not sure what just happened, but one thing was certain: Bucky had a troubled past.

Leaving Sam in the middle of the corridor, you trailed after Bucky. The door was closed so you walked through it, feeling a bit like a superhero.

Bucky was hunched over an open drawer, thumbing through files. He pulled out one that had your name on it. He smiled, waving the file above his head.

“It doesn’t look like an office.” You said, looking around.

“It’s the records room.”

Bucky walked to the desk and pulled out a chair for you. You sat down next to him and stayed quiet while he skimmed through your file. He could feel your eyes burning holes in his head.

“Stop staring at me.” He mumbled without looking up from the file.

“Whose funeral was it?” You blurted out.

Bucky fidgeted in his seat, he didn’t want to answer that question. Luckily for him, the door opened before he could say anything. Instinctively, you tried to duck under the desk before remembering that Bucky was the only one able to see you.

“Barnes? I didn’t know you were back. I haven’t been notified.”

“Captain! I-I-”

“How are you?”

“Better!” Bucky half-lied, standing up from his chair. “I wanted to go back to work. I’m working on a hit-and-run. Thought a fresh pair of eyes on the case might help.”

“I need a doctor’s release before you can come back to work. I know that Natasha’s dea-”

“I’m fine!” Bucky cut him off louder than necessary. The captain’s brows furrowed slightly and Bucky straightened up, trying to appear calm. “I understand. I’ll just come back another time.”

“I think it would be wiser. I’m pleased to see you’re considering coming back. We miss you.”

Bucky smiled at him before the captain returned to his office. Releasing a heavy sigh, Bucky took his jacket off the back of the chair. He slid the file under his jacket and you started to panic.

“What are you doing?” You followed him hastily as he left the records room.

“I’m stealing your file, we’ll work on it together.”

“This is not going to end well.” You tutted as you both left the precinct.

Bucky unlocked his car and slipped behind the steering wheel. He threw his jacket on the back seat and opened the file. He mumbled something to himself before he threw it on the dash.

Ten minutes later, you were both sitting in his car, which was parked in front of Peggy’s house. Bucky was drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, a pensive look on his face as he looked at Peggy’s front door.

“I hope you’re not thinking of going in there.” Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts. “She must be at work anyway.”

“Her statement was confused, probably because she was still in shock. I need to know what she saw that night.”

He opened the door and walked over to Peggy’s house. When he noticed that you were not following, he turned to the car and held out his arms.

“You’re coming or not?”

Bucky threw his head back and groaned when you shook your head. Without really paying attention to what he was doing, he walked back to the car and opened the passenger door. He held the door open and leaned down to be at eye level with you.

“Okay, what’s wrong? You don’t want to work with me?”

“Does it really matter? It won’t bring me back. I won’t magically wake up if you catch that piece of shit.” You tilted your head and furrowed your brows at him. “Who is Natasha?”

“Na-? I knew you were listening!” He sighed out, leaning his arm against the roof of the car. “If I tell you who she is, will you follow me and help me talk to your friend?”

You shrugged one shoulder.

Bucky took a deep breath, “She was my wife.”

“You have a wife?” You asked, dumbfounded.

“Had. She’s gone.”

“Oh, _the funeral_ ,” You repeated Sam’s words. “It was hers?”

“Yes,” Bucky sighed loudly. “Can we go now?”

“What was she like?” You asked, deliberately avoiding his question.

“You really want to do this now?” He took a step back and waved his hand at you. You looked up at him, your expression didn’t falter. “Fine, I’ll tell you everything _if_ you stop being such a-”

“Careful!” You waved a warning finger at him and he raised his hands in surrender.

“-stubborn lady.”

You mumbled a ‘ _yeah fine’_. Bucky mocked a bow as you climbed out of the car. It made you chuckle and he raised a questioning brow at you.

“You opened the door for me.” You nodded towards the door and burst out laughing when he quickly slammed it closed.

He looked around to make sure no one saw him talking to himself when his eyes landed on a brunette. She looked at him with knitted brows, confusion written all over her face.

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck and hung his head, a sheepish smile curled his lips.

“The woman behind the window,” He said once you had calmed yourself down. You looked up, trying to find the woman he was talking about. “She’s your friend, right?” You gasped at the sight of Peggy, earning a sigh from Bucky. “Great! She just saw me talking to myself. She must think I’m completely crazy.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mention of Drinking, Mention of Cheating, Language, Violence  
> Good ol’ Peggy Carter throwing punches. Also lines taken from the movie, I obviously don’t own that. Hope you’ll all like this one :)

 

“Stop laughing, this isn’t funny.” Bucky chastised.

You clutched your belly and doubled over. “I’m sorry, but it kind of is.”

You both walked towards Peggy’s house. Bucky was a nervous mess as he climbed the three steps to her front door.

“What am I going to tell her?”

“That you’re a cop and you’re investigating my case.”

“She just caught me talking to myself. I should tell her I can see your spirit.”

His words made you turn around.

“Whatever you do, do not tell her you can see my ghost. Peggy’s too down to earth to believe in that and, believe me, she doesn’t need help to throw your out of her house.”

Bucky knocked on the front door, giving you a self-assure look. “I think I’ll be alright.”

Peggy kept the chain lock in place as she cracked the door open and peeked outside. Bucky turned to her and took his badge from his pocket.

“Mrs Carter-Stark?” She nodded. “I’m Detective-Sergeant Barnes.” He showed her his badge and gave her his best smile.

“I saw you talking to yourself. What were you doing?”

Bucky had to think fast and said the first thing that popped into his head. “I got a call from the police station on my radio.” She furrowed her brows, but he didn’t let her speak. “Do you mind if I come in? It’s about Y/n.” He glanced at you from the corner of his eye.

“James, don’t tell her about the spirit thing.” You warned him again.

Peggy slammed the door shut and unlocked the chain before she opened the door again. “You found the bastard who ran her down?”

“Not yet, I’m working on it.”

“You’re not the policeman I saw back then.” She squinted her eyes at him.

“I’m taking over the case.” Bucky thanked her when she let him in.

You followed Bucky and took a good look around her house. She was normally so neat and organised, yet, it looked like a hurricane came through her home.

You looked at your friend who walked with Bucky to the kitchen. She looked broken, her eyes and nose were puffy from crying. Once you were all in the kitchen, you noticed two empty bottles of wine. It was the middle of the day, she was supposed to be at work. Peggy took her glass of wine and tried to hide it behind a box of cereal.

“She’s drinking wine in the middle of the afternoon.” You remarked and Bucky pressed his lips into a thin line. He slightly nodded, letting you know he noticed too without drawing attention to himself.

“What can I do for you, Detective?” She sat down at the kitchen table, fixing her hair.

Bucky took a seat on the opposite side of Peggy and discreetly moved the chair next to him. You thanked him as you sat down.

“In your statement, you said you saw the car turn left onto Linden Boulevard. Do you remember anything else?”

“Not really.” Peggy replied with a forlorn look on her face. “Like I said, I was on the phone with Y/n, she was crossing the road when... Excuse me.” She closed her eyes shut and pressed her lips together to stop her chin from quivering.

“Take your time.” Bucky said with a gentle smile and turned his head to look at you.

Your eyes watered as you watched Peggy struggle to fight back her tears. She was such a strong woman, you couldn’t stand to see her cry.

Bucky drummed his fingers on the edge of your seat, catching your attention. You looked down at his hand, then raised your head to look at his face. He smiled sweetly, a small, melancholic smile that made your heart leap.

“The last thing I told her was ‘ _hurry up, we’re starving.’_ ” Peggy swept her thumbs under her eyes. “ _Hurry up, we’re starving_ and two seconds later she got hit by a damn car.”

“It’s not your fault.” You said even though she couldn’t hear you. Bucky repeated your words and she scoffed.

“I wanted her to meet this guy, Scott. I thought she was lonely and I wanted her to be happy. She would still be with us if I-” She trailed off, sobbing.

Bucky shook his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You just wanted her to be happy.”

“Yeah...” She took a deep breath and sniffed a bit.

“You sure you don’t remember anything else? The model or color of the car?”

“Silver, maybe,” She shrugged. “I don’t know, it was too dark.”

Bucky nodded pensively. They stayed quiet for a moment, Bucky tilted his head to look at you. His eyes roamed over your features as if he wanted to tell you something. He kept glancing back at Peggy and you knew exactly what he had in mind.

You mouthed a ‘ _no’_ , despite the fact that Peggy couldn’t hear you. Bucky’s eyebrows lifted up higher on his forehead like he was saying ‘ _she’s miserable, I have to say something_.’

“This is going to sound strange,” He blurted out and Peggy slowly raised her head to look at him. “But Y/n is with us right now.”

You face-palmed yourself and groaned against your palm. Peggy looked at Bucky with knitted brows and he straightened his posture. He had to act normally, after all he was telling the truth.

“She’s with us?” Peggy repeated, dumbfounded.

“James, don’t!” You tried to stop him.

“Let me do this,” Bucky shushed you and turned back to Peggy who flinched when he talked to the empty chair. “I don’t know why, but I can see your friend’s spirit. She came to me a few weeks ago and I’m helping her.”

“Uh-uh.” Peggy slid off her chair. “Please, get out of my house.”

She looked and sounded calm, but you knew her well, she was about to lose her shit. You tried to warn Bucky, but he cut you off.

“You don’t believe me. It’s okay, took me a while to get used to it. She said you would react like that.”

Peggy approached him fast and swung her fist, hitting him squarely in the face. The force of the blow made Bucky fall to the floor. You jumped to your feet to help him, but you couldn’t do anything.

“Get the hell out of my house, you freak!” Peggy shouted, throwing the –previously hidden- glass of wine at him.

Bucky rounded the table and tried to hide behind a chair as Peggy looked around for something else to throw.

 “Y/n, a little help?” He urged.

“I told you this would happen, but _nooo_ , you had to tell her!” You threw your arms up in exasperation as Peggy threw more kitchen utensils at Bucky.

“Can you yell at me later?” He hissed, trying to remember which door would bring him back to the living room. “Tell me something no one knows about her.”

You tapped your chin with your pointer finger, seemingly deep in thought. She made you pinky swear to keep her secret a few years ago, but you couldn’t remember what it was. Bucky bent to dodge the swing of a frying pan.

“Yeah, sure, take your time!” He shouted sarcastically, running around the kitchen.

“Her bachelorette party,” You snapped your fingers. “She had sex with the stripper. What was his stage name?”

“She fucked the stripper at her bachelor party? Are you sure that’s even a secret?” Bucky shouted at you.

The room suddenly got incredibly quiet. Peggy froze, holding the frying pan high above her head, like someone had pressed the Pause button on a remote.

“How do you know that?” She blinked rapidly. “Nobody knows that!”

“Captain America!” You suddenly remembered the name of the stripper. “Yeah, I walked in on them doing it in the restroom.” Bucky turned to you, his eyes as wide as saucers. “What?”

“Oh, my fucking God!” Bucky cursed at loud.

Peggy threw herself at him, but he managed to avoid her and looked around the room like a scared animal. You easily led Bucky out of her house and followed him as he ran away. He ran back to his car as fast as he could. Peggy closed the front door and observed him through the peephole. He opened the door and slid behind the wheel, sighing loudly.

“That went well.” You remarked sarcastically. Bucky gave you a dirty look and your brows knitted together when you noticed the split in his lower lip. “Told you she was strong.”

Bucky groaned, “I need a beer.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mention of Cheating, Mention of Death, Language  
> Hope you’ll like this one :) Anyway, enter Maria…

 

You sat cross-legged on the sofa while Bucky was fixing himself up. He told your best friend he could see your spirit and ended up with a split lip.

“You’re not doing it right.”

“Really?” Bucky replied with a sigh and turned to you, a painful smirk on his face. “Wanna do it for me?”

“I would if I could… you know, hold things.”

He laughed silently and continued dabbing at the skin around his wound with a disinfectant-soaked cotton. You leaned closer to him and looked into the mirror.

“It won’t heal well if you don’t put it on your lip.”

He whined, still avoiding the wound. “But it hurts.”

“Oh, just man up, James.”

“Bucky.”

“Sorry, what?” You frowned at him.

“My friends call me Bucky. Well, friend, singular, I’m not that popular.”

“We’re friends?” You exclaimed with a big smile and he rolled his eyes.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Bucky made funny mewling sounds as he cleaned his wound. Then he sighed dramatically and slumped back into the sofa cushions.

“You’re a big baby.” You snickered. “Show me your lip.”

He turned and let you take a look at his swollen lip. Despite the cut, his lips looked soft and lush. His lips parted, showing a double row of white teeth. You noticed that one of them was slightly crooked. A strange feeling broke your concentration. It felt like someone had turned the heat up inside your chest. It enveloped you like a warm blanket.

Bucky saw you staring at his lips and frowned. “You okay?”

“Fine.” You mumbled, moving away from him.

A moment of silence settled between you. You were both trying to wrap your mind around what happened today.

“Can’t believe your friend fucked Steve.” Bucky sighed, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hand.

“Steve?”

Bucky grinned and pain shot through his split lip. “That guy your friend humped in the restroom,” You nodded. “He’s my best friend, Steve Rogers.”

Your eyes opened wide. “No way! You know Captain America? He’s like the best stripper _ever_.”

“Don’t call him that to his face.” Bucky laughed, pressing two fingers under his bottom lip to soothe the ache. “He prefers the term _exotic dancer_.”

“Ah, he wouldn’t be able to hear me anyway,” You shrugged, smiling tightly. “Your friend has questionable morals. He slept with the future bride.”

Bucky raised his head, an offended look on his face. “I could say the same about _your_ friend. She _was_ the future bride after all.”

“Guess they’re both to blame. No matter how hot your friend is, it’s not a good enough reason to cheat on your future husband.”

“Wow, that’s some great advice,” His tone was mocking, yet playful. “You should start a hotline.”

Instead of throwing him a dirty look, you burst out laughing and Bucky found himself fixated on you. He felt a soft flutter in his stomach and tried to push the feeling aside. A knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts.

When he opened the door, a young woman smiled at him. Her eyes were a striking, deep blue, her hair long and black. She was wearing a white cotton shirt and tight jeans that accentuated her long legs. There was something feral about her.

“I’m locked out.” She cringed. “I’m Maria, your neighbor,” She chuckled lightly and ran a hand through her hair. “Can I borrow your phone?”

“Sure, come on in.”

“Looks like I arrived just in time,” She gestured toward his face. “That looks painful.”

Maria swayed her hips in an exaggerated manner as she walked into the living room. She sat right where you were.

“Oh, it’s chilly in here.”

You stood up and sat on the coffee table instead, mumbling under your breath that she was rude. Bucky returned to the living room and took the spot on the sofa beside her. He glanced at you while Maria soaked a piece of cotton in iodine.

“I’m gonna take good care of you.” She said in a sultry tone.

You scoffed at her words, “Wow, she did not just say that!”

She swabbed his cut and shushed him gently when he sucked in a deep breath. Then, she blew on his lip to make the disinfectant dry faster.

“So you’re the new tenant?” She discarded the ball of cotton on the coffee table. “I saw you in the lobby the other day. You look better with short hair.”

“Thanks,” Bucky ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve been told it was ‘ _meh_.’”

You looked away from them, your jaw clenched tight. Bucky’s eyes were still on you and you tried to play it cool.

“It’s so much cuter than your _‘I’m a sad hippy’_ look.”

“Thanks… I guess.”

She chuckled. “So, what happened to your lip? Got into a fight?”

“Something like that.” Bucky replied, not wanting to go into details.

Maria scooted closer to him and sighed. She carefully put her hand on his thigh. He looked down at her hand, then back at her. Her eyes twinkled as she looked at him through her lashes.

“She wants you.” You said, watching the exchange.

“I noticed.” Bucky replied and smiled gently at her when she furrowed her brows in confusion.

Maria just shrugged. “You know, I always wanted to be a nurse. I’m from Sokovia, I was supposed to take over my father’s business.”

Holding out a hand, you frowned, “That’s not even a real country.”

“How do you know that?” Bucky replied to you, earning a chuckle from Maria.

“Well, he told me.” She scoffed, thinking he was talking to her. “But I left, I wanted to see the world. My family thinks I’m crazy.”

“I know stuff. I’m not a complete idiot.” You answered Bucky’s question.

“That’s up for debate.” Bucky grinned when you muttered a soft ‘ _jerk’_.

Bucky didn’t seem to notice the look Maria gave him. Her eyebrows came together in clear confusion. She pondered the meaning behind his words and nodded.

“I guess you’re right.”

They smiled at each other and you let out a loud groan. Bucky snickered quietly, still looking at Maria. Something in her back pocket caught your attention.

“She brought a condom. So she forgot her keys, but at least she remembered to take a condom.” You said sardonically.

Bucky suddenly remembered what Maria said. “You didn’t use the phone. Do you still need to call someone?”

“Actually,” Maria was now practically sitting in Bucky’s lap. “It was just an excuse.”

“Shocking! No one saw it coming.” You mocked, rolling your eyes.

“You’re really hot and you look so lonely.” She hung her head, looking down at her own hands. “I feel lonely too. Thought we could help each other out.”

Your annoyance faltered, you felt sorry for her. Maria was not a bad person. She was a bit bold and direct, but she looked genuinely lonely.

Bucky stayed silent, trying to come up with the right words. When you stood up, his head whipped in your direction.

“I’m so sorry. She wants you and you obviously feel the same. She’s beautiful and she’s right here in front of you… and I’m in the way. Sorry for ruining your moment.”

Before he could do anything, you vanished into thin air. He looked back at Maria with a small smile and took a deep breath.

“You are a very beautiful woman, but I’m not-”

She gave him a tight smile and raised her hand, cutting him off. “Don’t bother. I’ve heard that excuse a thousand times.”

He took her hands and squeezed them lightly. “I’m not available. I’m seeing someone… kind of… it’s complicated.”

“Got it,” Maria stood up from the sofa. “Take care of that lip, alright?”

“Yeah, see you around?”

“Sure.” She smiled as he walked her to the front door.

Once she was gone, Bucky took a moment to gather his thoughts. He sucked in a deep breath and wandered around the apartment, hoping to find you. He found you in the small walk-in wardrobe. You were sitting on the floor, your knees drawn up to your chest with your arms wrapped around your legs.

“That was quick.” You smirked as he sat next to you.

“C’mon, nothing happened.” He rolled his eyes and tried to bump your shoulder with his.

You both laughed softly when his shoulder went through you. “I keep forgetting that I can’t touch you.” He smiled sheepishly.

“What’d you say to Maria?”

“That I was seeing someone.” He shrugged, not meeting your eyes. He could feel your disapproving glare. “I didn’t mention that I was the only one who could.”

Long, silent minutes passed before Bucky said something. He was holding the box you saw a few days ago.

“Do you still want to know what’s in the box?”

“Only if you’re ready to tell me.” You smiled reassuringly.

He ran his fingers along the grooves in the wood and nodded. There was something so vulnerable about him, you just wished you could hug him. You waited patiently, you didn’t want to rush him.

“Natasha was the strongest person I’ve ever met.” He recalled fondly. “She was always so full of joy. When she died, it felt like I was falling into a bottomless pit. I didn’t know how to live without her.”

Inside the box, there was a picture of him with a beautiful woman with red hair in a form-fitting wedding gown. They looked happy.

“She was also a big pain in the ass,” He chuckled, his voice trembling slightly. “She always forgot her phone at home and I could never reach her. And the few times she had her phone with her, the battery was dead.”

He continued to talk about his late wife and you listened thoughtfully.

“She sounds like a great woman.” You smiled, then waved toward the box. “Is that your wedding ring?”

Bucky pulled out two rings from the box and held them in the palm of his hand. “I didn’t want to bury her with it. I removed mine the day after the funeral and put them in this box. At least, they’re together.”

“If there’s a way I can contact her once I’m…” You trailed off, refusing to use the word ‘dead.’ “Gone. Is there anything you’d like to tell her?”

“Thanks, but I already told her everything. I need to keep going, I owe it to her.” Bucky shook his head. “And you will not go anywhere, Y/n. You’ll wake up.”

You scoffed, “You don’t know that.”

“We’ll see.”

“Wanna bet?” You asked with a growing grin. He raised his eyebrows at you, silently urging you to keep talking. “If I don’t wake up, you’ll have to go to my funeral dressed as _Captain America_.”

“Believe it or not, but I’ve never been to one of Steve’s show. What’s the costume like?”

“A star-spangled speedo and a plastic shield.”

“What the-” He cringed as you burst out laughing. “No! No way! Besides, Peggy would kill me.”

“Yes, she would.” You said through your laughter.

“Okay, fine,” Bucky conceded, raising his hands in surrender. “But if you wake up, you’ll have to give me your apartment.”

“No!” You shouted, your laughter died down.

“A bet is a bet.” He replied with a smug grin. “And since I’m pretty confident that you’ll wake up…” He trailed off, smiling like an idiot.

“Okay,” You held out your hand for a handshake and Bucky held out his. “ _Can’t wait_ to see you in that tiny speedo.”

“You wish.” He smirked and laughed while you pretended to shake hands.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Language, Mention of Cheating.  
> Grab your bottles of wine ‘cause the last 3 chapters are going to be extra cheesy. Sorry for the wait, hope this is worth it.

 

In the fifth month of your coma, your spirits declined. So to speak. Your chances of survival were very slim.

Bucky didn’t visit you often, he was afraid he might run into Peggy. But every time he visited, he always placed a soft, lingering kiss on your forehead and you could feel the gentle pressure of his lips against your skin.

He never mentioned that to you, so you never commented on it.

Bucky would read books to you, watch movies with you until he fell asleep on the sofa, too tired to move. Most of the time, he was trying to fight off sleep so he could stay with you a little bit longer.

He was slowly falling in love with you and you were completely clueless because you were too caught up in your own thoughts. He was smart, funny and downright adorable. You tried to push your feelings aside, but it was too late. It was a doomed relationship. Who would want to date a ghost?

You looked down at Bucky. He was fast asleep on the sofa, his lips parted as small puffs of air escaped. God, you wanted to kiss him so bad. You sat by the window and watched the light grow brighter until the sun came shining though the bay windows. Soon, the streets were packed with people hurrying about their business.

“Y/n!” Bucky woke up with a start. He visibly relaxed when he saw you sitting at the window. “I thought you were gone.”

He crossed the room to sit next to you. When you didn’t acknowledge his presence, he drummed his fingers on the windowsill.

“What’s wrong?” You turned you head to glare at him and he gave you an embarrassed smile. “I mean... apart from the obvious.”

You looked at the clock above the television. “You’re gonna be late.”

Bucky had an appointment with the Police Department shrink. It was the only way he could have his job back.

“Shit!” He stood up and started running towards the bedroom before he stopped in his tracks. “Wait, are you okay?” You forced a smile, but he saw right through it... so to speak. “You sure?”

“Yeah, go Bucky. I’ll be fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“Go.” You urged, a telltale quiver in your voice.

Bucky stayed silent, standing in the middle of the living room.

“Come here.”

He extended his arms as if he wanted a hug and smiled at you, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Your heart fluttered in your chest as you walked over to him.

“You can’t hug me, Bucky.”

“We can pretend.”

“You’re going to be late.”

“So you better hurry and wrap your arms around my neck.”

You put your arms around his neck, careful not to touch him. His hands hovered close to your hips and for a second, you really believed that you were real. The illusion was perfect, but it was just that, an illusion.

“I’m scared,” You admitted, avoiding his eyes. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“I know.” He placed his hands on each side of your face as if he were cupping your jaw. “I’ll stay with you.”

When you took a step back, your arms went through his neck and chest, making him shiver. Bucky didn’t seem to care, but you still mumbled an apology.

“You have to go. It’s too important.” You crossed your arms and turned your back to him.

“Nothing is more important than you.”

Heat spread like wildfire through your chest, his words make your stomach do flip-flops. You didn’t turn around, you couldn’t face him. Bucky hung his head, feeling in his chest tighten.

“I’ll be back soon,” He took his car keys. “Then we’ll talk.” He left, still wearing his clothes from the day before.

You watched him climb into his car and drive away. There was no doubt in your mind, you were completely infatuated with him. You dragged yourself into the bedroom and lay down on the mattress. Time passed slowly without Bucky.

After what seemed like ages, you heard footsteps in the corridor.

“There you are,” Bucky smiled carefully as he entered the bedroom. “Thought you were gone.”

He removed his shoes and settled himself next to you on the bed. You both lay on your sides, facing each other. The soft light cast him in a golden glow, complimenting his features. Bucky bent his arm under his head while his free hand slowly traced the contour of your face.

“You’re beautiful.”

“Please, don’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not really here.” You raised your voice.

Bucky moved closer to you. If you concentrated hard enough, you could almost feel his breath fanning your face.

“But you’re right in front of me,” A sad smile crossed his face. “And you’re more real than most people in my life. When you’ll wake up-”

“If,” You interrupted.

“When,” He repeated with a pointed look. “When you’ll wake up, promise me you’ll remember me.”

You ran the pad of your thumb over the small scar on his bottom lip, courtesy of Peggy Carter. “I’ll remember you.”

“I wish I could feel that,” Bucky closed his eyes, trying to focus on the movement of your finger.

“How was your meeting with the therapist?” You asked softly, afraid to ruin the moment.

“Good,” He opened his eyes and smiled. “She said I can go back to work. I swear I’ll find the one who ran you down.”

“I know.”

Your small smile slowly faded. You abruptly sat up and swung your legs over the side of the bed. Bucky said your name, seeing a change in your expression.

“Y/n,” He called out to you as you walked towards the door. “Sweetheart.”

The nickname surprised you, a wave of dizziness crashed over you. You heard him roll off the bed and walk over to you, your back facing him.

“I know you’re scared, but I’m here,” He leaned forward to speak in your ear. “And I’m hopelessly in love with you. I don’t care what you think. It’s not doomed. I love you.”

He moved to stand in front of you, gauging your reaction. You wanted to tell him that you loved him too and that you wanted to be able to kiss him, but a shadow caught your attention.

A blond man with an enviable waistline was standing in the doorway of your bedroom, staring at Bucky with wide eyes. You recognized him from a photo Bucky showed you. It was Steve Rogers, and he just witnessed his friend confessing his love into thin air.

“Steve is standing behind you.”

It took Bucky a few seconds to register what you had said. This was definitely not what he was expecting to hear.

“Steve is standing behind me?” He repeated slowly, his voice surprisingly calm.

Bucky turned to face the door and gaped at the sight of his best friend. Steve looked confused. He cleared his throat, not moving an inch.

“You were not answering your phone and your door was open.” Bucky acknowledged his best friend with a nod before Steve continued. “How did you know it was me? What were you doing? Do you still have hallucinations?”

“I... it’s... She...” Bucky closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath, trying to gather himself. “There’s a girl, Y/n, she came to me a few months ago and I’m helping her.”

“Is she a real person?”

“Yes,” Bucky replied, annoyed. “She’s in a coma.”

“A coma?” Steve repeated, trying to absorb the news. “So you, uh, you-”

“I can see her spirit.” Bucky nodded.

Steve pondered and remained silent for a long moment, his eyes fixed on the floor. You moved to stand next to Bucky.

“He’s taking it better than Peggy.”

Suddenly, Steve doubled over in laughter, clutching his stomach. Bucky crossed his arms, showing his annoyance.

“I’m sorry,” Steve wheezed from laughing so hard. “It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. Let me recap quickly,” He stood straight and cleared his throat. “A ghost asked for your help and you fell in love with her?”

“Basically, yeah.”

His tone was serious and it calmed Steve almost immediately. “Buck, you’re my best friend and I love you, but I think you’re having a nervous breakdown. You should see a doctor.”

“I’m perfectly fine, thank you.” Bucky’s lips were drawn into a thin line. “You don’t believe me?”

“You’re asking a lot, pal.” Steve stepped into the bedroom. “Tell you what, if your ghost’s really in the room with us, ask her what I’m doing with my hands.”

He hid both hands behind his back and cocked a brow at Bucky. You and Bucky exchanged a look before you sighed and crossed the room to stand behind Steve.

“He’s playing rock, paper, scissors.” You told Bucky. “Now, it’s scissors.”

“You’re playing rock, paper, scissors.” Bucky repeated, still facing Steve.

“And which one is it?”

“Scissors.” Bucky sighed.

“Uh, lucky guess.”

“Now, it’s rock.” Bucky replied once you had warned him.

The look on Steve’s face was priceless, a mix of confusion and distress. “Okay, fine. And now?”

“He’s flipping me off!” You gasped when Steve raised his middle finger at you.

“Don’t flip her off, man!” Bucky shouted at his friend.

Steve turned around, unknowingly facing you. His eyes searched for something he couldn’t see. You loved the look of terror on his face.

“And I know you had passionate sex in the restroom of the strip club with her best friend. Maybe you remember her. Her name is Peggy Carter.”

Steve turned back to Bucky. He was feeling dizzy and his legs almost buckled under him. “How do you that? I saw Peggy once and we agreed we’d never tell anyone.”

“She told Y/n and Y/n told me.”

“You mean the ghost?”

“Can he stop calling me a ghost?” You rolled your eyes, exasperated. “It’s offensive.”

“She asks that you stop calling her a ghost.”

Steve stumbled to the bed and sat down, running his hands up and down his face. “I need a drink.”

The conversation continued in the kitchen where Steve gulped down his second shot of whiskey. He slammed the empty glass back on the counter.

“Honestly, it’s not so bad. At least he didn’t faint and hit his head on the floor like you did.” You grinned.

“Uh, excuse-me?” Bucky turned to you, ignoring Steve’s cocked eyebrow. “Steve never saw you walk through a table. That shit is crazy, can’t blame me for passing out.”

“Okay, can you not do that,” Steve mumbled as he watched Bucky speak into thin air. “It’s weird.”

It wasn’t long before Steve finished the whole bottle and passed out on the sofa. You took a seat near him and turned to Bucky.

“You should go to bed. I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“I was hoping we could...” He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Finish the conversation we started earlier.”

“Tomorrow? It’s been a long day...”

Bucky nodded slowly, his eyes focused on you. He bid you good night and walked to the bedroom. He didn’t sleep that night. Every time he closed his eyes he saw the way your eyes opened wide when he said ‘ _I love you’_.

He buried his face in the pillow and groaned silently, aware that you might be able to hear him from the living room. He was pretty sure his feelings were not one-sided, but still, you didn’t say ‘ _I love you’_. You didn’t say anything.

The sound of birds chirping happily outside pulled Bucky out of his thoughts. He rolled out of bed and walked into the living room. Steve was sleeping peacefully on the sofa, but you were no were around. You were gone for good this time.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so happy you all liked part 8 and we’re nearing the end, so… are they going to end up together or not? Sorry, but I do love you guys ♥

 

Bucky shoved Steve’s shoulder to wake him up. With a grunt, Steve slapped his hand away. He almost fell off the sofa, but Bucky kept shaking his shoulder.

“Wake up!”

Steve sat up on the sofa, holding his head with both hands. He winced at Bucky’s loud voice and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“Shh! Stop shouting.” Steve whispered.

“Y/n is gone, I can’t find her anywhere.”

“Maybe she just went for a walk.” He mumbled, hiding his eyes in the crook of his elbow

“She doesn’t go anywhere, Steve! _She’s a fucking ghost_!” Bucky screamed.

Steve let out a loud whine as he lay on his back on the floor. “Leave me alone, I’m dying.”

Bucky hooked his hands under Steve’s armpits and lifted him into a sitting position despite the blond’s complaints. Steve tried to hold on to the sofa when Bucky started dragging him out of the room.

“I want death.”

“I swear to God, Rogers, stop being such a drama queen.”

They were in front of the door when Steve finally rose up to his feet. Bucky grabbed his keys and his jacket and pushed Steve out of the apartment.

“Where’re we going?”

“The hospital, I need to see Y/n.” Bucky slammed the door shut before he jumped the stairs two at a time. He looked over his shoulder when he didn’t hear Steve following him. “Move your goddamn ass!”

Bucky took the blue light out of the glove box and set it on the dashboard. Cars parted to let him through like Moses parting the Red Sea. He ignored Steve’s raised eyebrow, technically it wasn’t an emergency, and maneuvered between cars until he reached the hospital.

He barged into the hospital and immediately ran towards the staircase. Steve was much slower. He looked like he was racing against a snail and the snail was winning. He grabbed a cup of coffee in the hospital cafeteria where a nurse pointed him in the direction of the coma ward.

When Bucky turned the corner, he saw a bunch of doctors and nurses leave your room. He couldn’t see their faces, but the thought of losing you made a cold shiver run down his spine. ‘ _Not again’_ he muttered to himself, trying to stay calm.

“Not you again!”

The female voice startled him, he recognised it instantly. He turned around, Peggy was standing in front of him, hands on her hips. Staring at her, he slowly backed away.

“Are you stalking me?”

“No, I’m not! I swear!” He protested, walking backward with his hands up even though Peggy didn’t move. “I need… Y/n-”

“I know you’ve been visiting her.” She interrupted, taking a step towards him. “You have to stop, she doesn’t know you.”

Bucky was about to retort when he noticed Doctor Cho standing behind him. She pulled her phone away from her ear and smiled at him.

“I’ve been trying to reach you, Mr Barnes.”

“W-Why?”

“Y/n woke up during the night.”

The news hit him like a punch in the stomach, knocking the air out of his lungs. He had to lean against the wall to steady himself. He was smiling so hard, his cheeks were sore.

“We removed the breathing tube, but she won’t be able to speak for a while. Don’t expect too much, okay? She’s basically waking up from a five-month nap. She’s going to be very tired and very confused for a few days, possibly weeks.”

“She’s back now. That’s all that matters.” Peggy beamed, tears trailing down her cheeks.

“She can have visitors, but only one person at a time. And don’t try to make her speak, her throat is too sore!” Helen Cho warned, giving them a pointed look.

Bucky and Peggy nodded vehemently before they both moved towards your room. They looked at each other and Bucky knew that if looks could kill he’d be dead.

“Doctor Cho,” She turned to the doctor. “I don’t know that man and neither does Y/n. He’s been harassing me. If he comes near Y/n, I’ll call security.”

Doctor Cho looked a bit confused as she turned her gaze on Bucky. He looked back at her with the guiltiest expression she had ever seen. It helped her make her decision.

“Mr Barnes, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” When he opened his mouth to protest, she continued. “We will call you if she mentions your name. I’m sure you understand, if what Miss Carter says is true, we cannot let you near Y/n.”  

She motioned for Peggy to follow her, leaving Bucky alone in the middle of the corridor. Steve nonchalantly approached him, holding two steaming cups of coffee in his hands. He handed one to Bucky and caught a glimpse of Peggy as she entered your room.

“Peggy? Oh God, so you were telling the truth!”

“Let’s go.” Bucky sighed, defeated.

“What? You dragged me all the way out here for nothing?”

“She woke up, Steve.” Bucky put his hands in his pockets. “Now, all I can do is pray that she’ll remember me.”

A week passed and Bucky was back to work. His colleges had organised a little party for him, but he was too anxious to have fun. He worked on your case all week and kept checking his phone for messages from Doctor Cho.

Nothing.

One night, Sam made his way out of the precinct when he noticed the light on in Bucky’s office down the hall. He leaned against the door, watching Bucky work like no time had passed.

“It’s an old case,” He couldn’t help but grin as he startled Bucky. “That hit and run was five months ago. We don’t have any solid leads, Buck. Other people need our help.”

“I’ll work on it in my spare time then.” Bucky mumbled without looking up from his work.

“Suit yourself,” Sam nodded. “Goodnight.”

Two more weeks passed before Doctor Cho called. He was so excited when she asked him to come to the hospital. He couldn’t wait to see you and made sure he looked his best.  

Bucky bought a bouquet of flowers, your favourites. He knew because it was one of the things you mentioned during your late night discussions. He took the lift and fixed his hair in the mirror, his heart fluttering wildly in his chest.

Outside your room, Peggy was standing with her arms crossed over her chest, clearly displeased. She didn’t say anything when he entered your room.

A nurse propped you up on the bed by putting a pillow behind your back. Bucky noticed that most of the machines were gone, it was a great sign. He gave you a heart-stopping smile and stood near the foot of the bed, respecting your privacy.

“I brought you flowers,” A nurse took the bouquet and set it on your bedside table. “Your favorites.”

He felt like a teenager going on his first date, his heart beating faster and faster. Doctor Cho was standing by your bed, a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“Y/n, do you know that man?”

Bucky held his breath, the room began to spin and he thought he would pass out. You couldn’t speak, but you moved your head and Bucky’s world came tumbling down around him.

No.

He stood straight, he didn’t want to cry in front of everyone. The muscles in his jaw clenched as he willed himself not to cry.

“You don’t remember me? At all? …after everything?” His voice quivered despite his effort to hold it steady. “You promised.”

You stared at him. You felt sorry for him, he was obviously in a lot of pain, but you were sure that you had never met him before.

Doctor Cho made him follow her into the hall where Peggy was still waiting. She explained that you remembered everyone but him. No memory loss, you were actually recovering quite well. It was cruel, his pain was too strong, but he nodded slowly.

Once Doctor Cho was gone, Peggy turned to him.

“You have one month to leave her apartment. You’re lucky I let you stay at her place.”

She turned around to leave when Bucky whispered, “I love her.”

She turned back and gave at him with an almost sympathetic look. “If you really love her, you’ll leave her alone.”

Bucky walked back to his car. He sat there for a few seconds before he broke down into tears. He threw his head back against the headrest, crying hysterically. He gripped the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were turning white.

The next day, he took his things out of your apartment and crashed on Steve’s sofa while he looked for his own place.

You were facing a long and difficult road towards recovery. You had to learn to talk, walk and use your muscles again. It wasn’t easy, but your friends helped you a lot. You stayed in the hospital for another month. The day before you were released, Peggy sat next to your bed.

“Are you excited to go home?”

“Yeah,” You chuckled. “I can’t stand this creepy, white room.”

“We had to rent your apartment while you were playing sleeping beauty, but everything’s in order now.” Tony explained, his brows furrowed when Peggy threw him a dirty look. “What?”

“There was someone in my apartment?” You turned your head to look at her.

“Yes, sweetie,” She sighed, faking her best smile. “But don’t worry, he’s gone.”

You stared at her for a moment, her expression unreadable. “Well I hope he didn’t mess with my things.”

“He didn’t,” Tony chuckled. “I have to make a phone call, I’ll be back in a sec.”

Tony left the room, leaving you alone with Peggy. She looked like she was hiding something. You cleared your throat, pulling her out of her thoughts. You could practically hear the gears turning in her head.

She leaned closer to you. “Can I ask you something?” You nodded. “Remember my bachelorette party?”

“Yeah,” You smirked. “When you had sex with the stripper.”

“Shh, Tony’s right outside.” She looked toward the door to make sure no one was eavesdropping. “You haven’t told anyone about it, have you?”

“No, I’ll never break a pinky swears. And I don’t want to get punched in the face.” You chuckled, but she didn’t join you. “What’s wrong?”

She waved off your concerns. “Nothing. Someone mentioned it and you’re the only one who knows about it so…”

“Well, me and Captain America.” You grinned, giving her a little wink.

“Oh, my God!” She buried her face in her hands and gasped, making you chuckle. “How do you even remember his stage name?”

You stopped laughing, a crease appeared between your brows. “I have no idea. Feels like we talked about him not long ago.”

“We never talk about _him_.” Peggy pointed out and you shrugged.

“I guess I just have a good memory.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW Mention Depression & Suicidal Thoughts  
> I was so moved by your feedback and I’m so happy to give you this final chapter. Thank you for everything! Hope you’ll enjoy it and… remember that I love you ♥

 

It had been almost four months since you had left the hospital. Your apartment was oddly silent and you were starting to feel like something was missing. There were days when you would catch yourself staring into space, smiling, as if you were living another life in your head. A life you didn’t have access to.

Your therapist told you to be patient, you had to let your brain recover and adjust. It was a topic that even Peggy and Tony avoided. You realised the past few months had been hard on them too, so you decided to pretend everything was fine.

But you were not fine. You were sad and lost.

One evening, you were making dinner for yourself when the phone rang. You quickly wiped your hands on a kitchen towel and held the phone between your shoulder and ear while you continued to make dinner.

 _“Miss Y/l/n, this is,”_ The man cleared his throat. _“This is Detective James Barnes.”_ He paused briefly. _“I- We caught him… the man who ran you over.”_

“Oh…” You replied, suddenly focusing all your attention on the call.

 _“His name is Alexander Pierce.”_ Detective Barnes continued. _“He was late to pick up his son and didn’t pay attention to what he was doing-”_

“Clearly!” You cut him off. “He almost killed me. I lost five months of my life because he was a few minutes late.”

_“I know, he’s a piece of shit.”_

You made a sound, half sob, half laugh. “Yeah. Well, uh, thank you for taking the time to call. And for your hard work. I’m sure it wasn’t easy.”

 _“It’s my job.”_ He paused to take a deep breath _. “I’m really glad to hear your voi- to hear that you’re feeling better,”_ He said quickly, a hint of sadness in his voice. _“Goodbye.”_

A few days later, you decided that if science couldn’t answer your questions, maybe paranormal could. And that’s how you found yourself in the best-rated occult bookstore in Brooklyn.

It wasn’t a quiet place. Everywhere people were talking and arguing. One man was giving a lecture on UFO sighting to a group of people. You wandered around the shop, feeling a bit out of place.

“What about ‘ _Adventures beyond the Body’_?” Wanda asked, tilting her head to read the title.

“I already read that one. Didn’t help.” Bucky let out an annoyed sigh.

“And ‘ _Surviving Death: The Second Chance’_?”

“I read it last week.”

“I think you’ve read all the books we have on near-death and out-of-body experiences.” Wanda turned to give him a sad smile.

Bucky sighed, “I just want to jog her memory!”

“Here’s an idea,” Wanda clapped her hands once. “She doesn’t remember you, but it’s not that important. You seduced her once, you can do it again! Sure, you’ll be the only one remembering her out-of-body experience, but it’s still better than nothing, right?”

“I want her to remember _me_ ,” Bucky rested his palms on the table in front of him. “The night she woke up, I told her I loved her. I just… I need to know if she feels the same. I can’t give up. If she doesn’t love me, then I’ll leave her alone, but _I need to know_.”

He sucked in a deep breath and looked up at Wanda. When he saw the tears in her eyes, he realised how desperate he sounded.

“I have all these memories and no one to share them with.”

He tried to mask the quiver in his voice as Wanda put her hand on his shoulder. She could feel his pain, his sadness, it cut through her like a knife.

“James, you come here three times a week. Someone is looking after you, I can feel it, but you still need to find the courage to speak to Y/n.”

Wanda heaved out a long sigh and gave Bucky a compassionate look. She heard the distinctive tinkle of the shop bell and looked in the direction of the door.

“Ah, this is interesting…”

Bucky frowned in confusion and followed her gaze. He saw you enter the parapsychology section and he immediately tried to hide behind a bookcase. Wanda rolled her eyes and started walking towards you.

“What are you doing?” He hissed.

“She’s a customer and I work here. What do you think I’m going to do?”

Before he could protest, Wanda greeted you with a loud ‘ _Hi!_ ’ You mirrored her polite smile and fidgeted with your fingers. Her face looked familiar, but you couldn’t remember where you saw her.

“Can I help you?”

“Do you have anything on after life or out-of-body experience?”

“Can you narrow it down a bit?”

“Huh, memory loss?”

She put a finger to her chin, pretending to be in deep thought. “I have exactly what you need. Follow me.”

Bucky saw you and Wanda approaching the spirituality section. He could feel his blood pounding in his ears and his heart jackhammering in his chest, making him feel lightheaded. He tried to hide his face behind a book, but his movements were slow and clumsy.

You stared at Bucky with wide eyes and didn’t notice that Wanda was mouthing the words _‘talk to her’_ to Bucky. She walked away quickly, disappearing behind a shelf.

“Hi,” You greeted with a shy smile. “I remember you.”

“You do?!”

You frowned at the tone of his voice. He sounded thrilled. “Yes, you visited me in the hospital.”

“Oh that… yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck and set the book down on the table.

“You never told me your name.”

He cleared his throat awkwardly before he spoke. “James Barnes.”

The look of shock on your face made Bucky want to run away. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

“It was you on the phone the other day. Detective James Barnes…” Your eyebrows came together in concentration. “Who are you?”

“I’m just-”

You took a step closer and raised your hand to interrupt him. It worked. He took a step back, hitting the bookshelf.

“You brought me my flowers, said they were my favourite. How did you know?”

Bucky took a deep breath, he didn’t want to lie to you. “You told me.”

“When? I’ve never met you before!”

Bucky took a moment to really look at you. The quiver in your voice and the pleading look in your eyes broke his heart. You looked so scared and confused. He knew the truth would scare you away, but he had to tell you.

You deserved to know. Besides, you were the one who decided to visit an occult bookstore, so you expected a weird answer.

“You’re going to think I’m crazy.”

“I already think you’re crazy. You have nothing to lose.”

You noticed how fast your heart was beating and felt butterflies flutter in your stomach. It confused you even more. Perhaps, it was your body’s way of telling you to trust him.

“A few months ago,” He avoided your eyes and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I was struggling with depression. I avoided my friends and took an extended sick leave. I drank a lot, it made me forget my pain. I found your apartment, it was a sublet, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to live long enough to pay for another month. I wanted to die.”

He paused. It hurt him to admit that he wanted to kill himself. He looked up at you, the compassion in your eyes moved him.

“Before I could try anything, you… you just appeared out of nowhere.” He snorted. “I mean literally, you started shouting and we argued, and then you tried to grab the phone-”

Before he finished his sentence, shards of memory rushed through your brain. You saw yourself trying to take the phone, but you couldn’t even touch it.

“- but your hand went through it.” Bucky said with an awkward chuckle. “I was so drunk, I thought I was seeing things. But the next morning you were still there…”

He gave you the time you needed to process the news and watched a rainbow of emotion pass over your face. He expected you to slap him across the face and run away.

“So…” You said carefully, not meeting his eyes. “I was a ghost?” Saying it out loud made you feel stupid. There’re no such things as ghosts.

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, clearly as uncomfortable as you were. “You didn’t like that word. You preferred the word ‘ _spirit’_.”

You nodded, but you were no longer listening to him. Your entire body ached, your heart was racing and your knees almost buckled. Afraid that you might faint, Bucky reached out and took your hand. His warm fingers closed around yours and everything went black.

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die, but when that car hit you all you saw was its bright headlights.

But the moment Bucky touched you, a flood of memories bubbled up. Memories flooded your brain and stated aligning themselves. A simple, delicate touch and the fog in your mind cleared.

For a moment, you forgot where you were. You focused on the film playing in your head. The life trapped in your head finally broke free as a thousand butterflies took flight in your stomach.

“Bucky?”

Upon hearing his nickname, Bucky’s mouth fell open and his eyes grew wide. You chuckled when his mouth opened and closed like a goldfish.

“I remember you,” You intertwined your fingers with his and straightened yourself. Your free hand cupped his jaw, the pad of your thumb grazed his lower lip. “I remember everything, including how you got punched in the face by my best friend.”

He chuckled and closed his eyes, leaning into your touch. “Am I dreaming?”

“No,” You smiled. “It’s really me. God, I can’t believe I’m finally touching you. Your skin is so warm.”

He took your hand and kissed your knuckles. “Yours too.”

“I’m sorry, Bucky. I tried to warn you I was waking up, but it happened so fast…”

“It’s okay,” He pushed a strand of hair away from your face and cupped your face in his hands.

“I didn’t have time to tell you.”

“Tell me what, sweetheart?”

You smiled, resting your hands on his chest. His heart thumped under your palm, it gave you the strength to speak.

“That I’m so hopelessly in love with you, too.” You parroted his words back to him. “I’m so sorry I didn’t say it sooner, I was scared that it would lead nowhere. I didn’t want to see you suffer, you’ve- _Unf_ -”

Bucky silenced you with a kiss. You had dreamt about this a lot, imagining what it would feel like to be kissed by him. It was even better. Your toes curled inside your shoes as his tongue slipped into your mouth, tasting you.

You stopped kissing, a string of saliva connecting your lips. It broke when you took a step back, making you both chuckle.

“See,” He placed a chaste kiss on your lips. “I told you you’d wake up.” He kissed your nose. “And now I won’t have to wear Steve’s stripper clothes.” He kissed your forehead.

“Shame.”

He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest. You giggled when his lips found your neck, his warm breath tickling your sensitive skin.

“I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep my hands off you.” He mumbled against your skin. “I’m scared you might disappear again.”

“I’m here to stay,” You ran your fingers through his hair and grinned. “But just in case, keep holding me.”

Wanda watched the two of you kiss and smile like you were the only two people in the world. She smiled to herself and observed the light red glow that always followed Bucky around. A chill swept through her when the aura moved closer to her.

“Hi, Natasha,” The aura shone brighter as if it were replying to her. “Yeah, you did. You brought them together. They look happy.”

Natasha’s aura turned dark blue, a sign of fear. Her unfinished business was to save her husband, her Bucky. She was always with him, but she couldn’t do anything. She watched, helpless, as he cried, drank and begged for death.

“I know you’re scared,” Wanda cooed and looked back at you and Bucky, now laughing heartily. “She’ll take care of him and he’ll take care of her. Don’t worry. You’re free now.”

The night you met Bucky, he wanted to kill himself and Natasha was stubborn enough to make you appear in your own living room. She never expected him to fall for you, but she understood why he loved you and she was happy to see him smile again.

Wanda watched with a small smile as Natasha’s aura changed from dark blue to clear red. The passionate and kind woman followed the light, knowing you were going to protect and love Bucky until the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOW GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH OR YOU’LL GET CAVITIES ;)  
> If you’re struggling with depression, my door is always open ♥


End file.
